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Wednesday, 19 November 2014

First

We, uh... I can only describe it as "we had sex." It was dry humping, but he came and I was very turned on and it was the first time I ever engaged in sexual activity with another person with both of us trying to make the other reach orgasm. I didn't get there because I had to pee but that's besides the point for now. 

SI is the first person to fall asleep in my arms, to look me lovingly and say sweet things, to tell me he enjoys my company, to share in the intimacy of admitting to be emotionally broken. 

I told him about my insecurities regarding being objectified. I probably should have said "used." He's very afraid I think that of him and wanted to reassure me it's not the case with him and that he likes me for me besides being very attracted to me. He said he's had a wall up for a while because his ex made it hard for him to trust anyone and yet he feels comfortable being vulnerable with me. He said he felt connected to me.

We cuddled after agreeing we'd take it slow and wouldn't do anything I was uncomfortable with. He reinforced the thought of not wanting to be rude and do anything without my consent. I assured him my setbacks had nothing to do with him and I would stop him if he tried anything without my consent. After he fell asleep in my arms he woke up and we kissed. They were sweet kisses, the kind you'd give when you're about to start making love (as opposed to having sex). I noticed the kisses getting more intense on his part and I went with it. He asked if I'd like to unfasten my bra and I said yes. We grinded for a good while and when he came he let out a soft moan of "Oh, linaThumbe!" in my ear. I'm pretty sure that was it because he said he got there after being concerned with whether or not I was there yet. He really wanted to tend to my needs. 

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