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Tuesday, 21 October 2014

I apparently can't learn

There's a number of things I could be writing about, like how the story of a trans man being bullied by professors made me want to cry and apologise for the human race as a whole. I won't. 

I keep wanting to talk to him so I keep starting conversations through Facebook. So far, so good, right? 

NO.

I've realised I need validation from him. When he doesn't read my messages (or when he does but it does not appear like he has and he doesn't respond) my sense of self-worth plummets. Forget about the fact that Rl thought I have a chance. Forget about how much we can laugh when we talk sometimes. That right there was enough to make me feel unimportant and unworthy of what I wanted to do tonight and may put off until later: asking him out on a date. 

It really doesn't help matters one bit that life has been going shittastic otherwise and I've been putting way too much energy into this fantasy of a love life he's a part of. 

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