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Monday, 4 August 2014

Sexy egg yolks

I've been dreaming a lot lately, I just haven't been recording the dreams because of the whole I-don't-feel-like-writing-thing. I had an odd dream last night about SmTn. I had a dream that we were both at my parents', staying in my room in separate beds and I suppose he was visiting. But we were sleeping in the same room and I even remember changing in front of him, not really caring if he saw me naked. That's not all that odd, I suppose, not compared to I'm about to tell. I remember thinking it was a bit too soon, so I guess we hadn't been together that long and I remember worrying about a number of things and unanswered questions, but he was preparing for anal sex. With a little packet of lube (not so unlike the packets that ketchup come in) and, for reasons I cannot begin to understand, egg yolks. He didn't ask, and at this point we hadn't engaged in any other type of sex, but he'd apparently come prepared for it. It seemed "obvious" to him that we should go for anal even though I have so many questions regarding how you'd get to that line of reasoning... I'm a bit embarrassed to admit I was going to "let him" do it. Not that I was into it, not that I was going to do all the things I thought were necessary before going into anal, that I was going to "allow" it to happen as if that were close enough to consent. 

Why egg yolks? Why was I tempted to tell him, when the lubrication didn't seem to be enough, that some people make do with just saliva? (I didn't, by the way). Why was this our first official sex act? Why didn't I force the subject of whether or not he'd be using a condom, or our previous partners and sex health history for that matter? Why didn't I tell him I was uncomfortable and that I'd never done anal before? Why didn't I flinch at the thought of egg yolks near my privates? Why motherfucking egg yolks? In case you were wondering, no: we didn't. Not because I stopped him, but because we couldn't. It may have been a matter of not enough lube, it might have been a matter of not enough time alone. All I know is that I ended up outside, helping mum clean the floor because she was hoping to find some kind of magical pattern of three tiles that would reveal information that would make us lucky/rich. Dream logic. You wouldn't understand... I remember scrubbing at the floor to reduce algae growth there. It apparently hadn't been done in a fairly long time.

In another dream, I was some sort of princess and I was engaged to a monster not so unlike Godzilla (just a giant reptile that could walk on its two hind legs, nothing radioactive but rather ancient and epic about it). I had feelings for this monster and I somehow knew it to be person-like. However, to get to me and be engaged to me it had "cheated" some kind of test that involved filling some kind of outline against a massive rock, which the monster did by creating a chain of humans to lean against it. The king, my father, was very upset and wanted the monster to prove itself before we could go on with any of the preparations.

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