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Sunday, 16 March 2014

And then again...

It's not every day I have a sex dream. It's not every day I have two sex dreams. It's not every day those are about SmTn. 

So, If that first short set of lines was not enough warning, mind the labels.

If his absence in the last few (or not so few) posts is any indication (hint: it isn't), SmTn has not quite left my thoughts. I still think of him a lot. My feelings for him are still where I left them the last time I brought them up, I don't feel as warm and fuzzy inside when I think of him. If anything, as time goes by, I'm more and more tempted to think of myself as his whore and little more than that. I'm ever more... disappointed in him, if you will.

I may have been reading advice given to people who've considered cheating on their significant other with someone they were infatuated with over a vacation period and the chorus agrees: they're scumbags who had one foot out the door if they even considered talking about their feelings for someone else. I can't bring myself to think so lowly of SmTn, but I'll agree it's not fair on anyone and it's a shitty situation all in all. Truth is, I still think only nice things about him. I still care about him. I still think of him. And, if you read carefully, I still have dreams about him.

The dreams I had took place this morning, just before I woke up. I actually woke up from one and still managed to go into the other instead of waking up. They were basically the same thing (well, maybe they weren't but I can't remember distinctions now so I suppose now they are). To be honest, I now only seem to remember one of them. That's what happens when I procrastinate so long.

The dream I remember, then, though I know it was only one of two, has SmTn and I kissing. Sweet, slow and passionate kissing. The kind of kissing that's only foreplay. For sex. We were about to have sex and it was clear to both of us. It was also the first time, as I remember it, because I remember asking him if he liked it when I kissed his shoulder. I also remember what it felt like to kiss him, and what his kisses tasted like (though I, of course, have no reference for it). On to actual details of the dream itself, I'm afraid I can't give you many. I know I was on top of him, and I know we were naked and in the middle of foreplay. I remember teasing him and kissing the inner part of his thighs. I don't remember any actual thrusting, but it could be that we didn't get around to it before I woke up for good. 

Ok, you know what's really starting to get to me? I'm trying to channel the feeling of being with SmTn and trying hard to remember the other dream about him but all I can think of is the guy from tango rubbing his leg against mine. Blegh! Damn him!

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