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Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Sorry, I'm not in the mood right now.

It's funny how Valentine's Day writing about love seemed cliché, bordering on kitschy, but I wanted to and the "right time" to do it seemed to be when I finished watching all seventy Cardcaptor Sakura episodes plus the two films. It just seemed logical, you know.

Watching Syaoran's plight, Sakura's indecision, Toya and Yukito together, Tomoyo's and Meilin's far-too-wise-for-girls-their-age advice... you won't be too surprised if I quietly admit to having cried a bit. I would have started writing yesterday but I wasn't quite in the mood. The mood to write this in is the mood I had when I wasn't finished with the series yet but I realised that the way I experience romantic feelings hasn't changed much since the days when I first found the series. And that goes back to the early 2000s, maybe even late 1990s, come to think of it. 

Come to think of it, I'm not yet in the right mood to write about the L word. I just went down a Wikipedia rabbit hole trying to find the year "Oops, I did it again!" was released, read about the music video (which I'd always suspected and finally confirmed referred to the diamond from  Titanic) and then ended up reading about the Hope Diamond. None of which has anything to do with the subject I wanted to talk about in the first place. Which could either mean I'm still not in the right mood to write about it, or I'm somehow putting it off until a later time, procrastinating. As if I were afraid to delve into those depths. I don't know.

In the mean time, I can tell you about two things bothering me. The shorter one to state is that it's already "next week" and I have not heard from EBF. Not that I expect to. Yes, I do. No, I shouldn't. I'm sort of waiting for the week to be over, is what I'm saying. Then I can rest easy knowing he failed to keep his promise and I didn't have to talk to him. Or worried that maybe he'll try to make up for it later. If he remembers to. Which he may not, because it's not like he's awfully eager to talk to me in the first place and I don't fucking know why he even bothers. I'm upset about EBF, is what I'm saying. I have even thought about bringing it up tomorrow and I'm not sure how stupid an idea that is. 

The other thing on my mind is a rather comical one, if you know me and my social awkwardness. Remember the guy with the green shirt?

Nope. Not quite in the  mood to write about that either. Maybe later this afternoon while I wait for laundry. Or after I've numbed my brain even more. 

For now, maybe I'll just leave the three songs I've been thinking about:




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