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Friday, 14 February 2014

Happy Singles' Awareness/Valentine's day!

I had an odd dream last night. I'm also realising I've had an awful lot of dreams lately and more "like me" than most I've remembered in a long time...

This dream also featured the sea and an island. There were pirates, even. One of the leader pirates got ahold of a very large glass jar of what appeared to be pickled giant beans. A cross between a white, black-eyed pea and a fava bean, if you will. Except about 7cm long or so. One of the top beans was taken and peeled. The inside revealed green leaves, like those of a lettuce, covered in a reddish goo and wrapping something up, apparently. Well, not apparently, t was actually a baby. A full sized newborn which seemed to be at least part vegetation, with the bok choi leaves sprouting from the sides of his face and facing back. He was all covered in this reddish goo, probably reminiscent of amniotic fluid  mixed with blood and had a big drop/clot of it on his forehead. The baby, howeer, appeared to be dead. He was alive later in the dream, but he was born dead, if you will. I know it was a baby boy because I remember him being held by a nanna, an older plump woman who looked like she'd taken care of children for a lifetime. He was dressed in baby blue clothes. 

I was in no mood to finish writing this post yesterday, so it will be posted today. No dreams last night.

Yesterday was my birthday, blog. I received calls and text messages from mum, my sister, cousin N, aunt MT, the old man, aunt LM, cousin S, aunt A, A, the Yeps, BCM and family... I was anxiously impatiently waiting for SmTn's message. I did not let go off my phone. I kept the data plan on. I made sure the WiFi didn't turn off even if the screen went out. I didn't receive anything until early this morning, when the battery was drained enough that the message didn't come through because of the battery saving mode. He wished me a happy birthday yesterday and a happy Valentine's day today. The message arrived at 6am. I would have woken up if I'd seen it on time but it did not arrive on time because of the phone's battery saving settings. I'm not sure what for, though. It's not like we can have a conversation and it's all I could do to write "Thanks :). Happy Valentine's day to you too!" and feel foolish for a) wanting to have gotten that across no more than 5min after his original message and b) realising it would have made no difference, we still can't really talk. I want to send him a hug. I want to tell him so many things... I want to be able to rant and wonder and be silly and speak our own made-up language and hear from him, and find out what he's been up to, and... you know, just talk to him. *sigh*

Want to know who I did receive a message from, circa 10pm last night? EBF. It was just a short one, but after I said thanks he asked about life. I was brief and asked how he was. He asked for details, so this time I was brief-but-not-that-brief. He asked more questions and I answered them. He then didn't say a word and I resisted the urge to type "Well, fuck you."

I felt a little bad for not wishing him a happy birthday last year. And then he stopped talking and I stopped feeling bad about that and instead felt bad for answering his questions and feeling like I could tell him things and getting excited and being such an idiot. 

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