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Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Hello, I'm linaThumbe. I know you just told me your name and introduced yourself but I can't for the life of me remember you.

A PhD student walked in looking for ON. This used to be his old office (now I'm even more bewildered by the condom instructions but I won't go into that now). He asked if I knew if we had [insert instrument to measure conductivity] in the lab. I said I didn't know. I said I hadn't seen ON but to knock on his door anyway (no surprise when nothing happened, though, he's not there). The stranger introduced himself and I can't for the life of me remember his name. I did, however, remember a few moments after he left that yes, I do remember seeing that instrument when I was in the lab once. I wouldn't know if it's still there, months later, but I might have been able to say "Yes, I've seen it but I don't know if they still have it there. My position here is not completely worthless and I must somehow be worthy of having an office here." Damn it.

Also, per CtThumbe's suggestion (we had a chat last night, it was nice) I tried the audit thing again. Even though I know the class was held today and I showed up some 30min after it was over to the professor's office, I knocked on his door and got no answer. I'm starting to think it shouldn't be nearly this hard to reach someone and learn maths for fun, but it is. 

On another subject (sort of), I am actually quite glad that on the occasions when I don't torture myself with thoughts of failure I am still able to laugh at myself for silly and not-very-consequential mistakes. At least sometimes. When I'm alone and there's not someone like aunt A to point them out (and imply they could somehow lead to catastrophes). 

Social awkwardness, however, continues to be everything it's always been.

[night edit]
I tried his office again in the afternoon before leaving and I found the professor. He was incredibly nice and thought he'd answered but something was off with his internet and bottom line I can go to class without paying. He even gave me a copy of his lecture notes. I may have smiled way too much and gotten a bit stupid talking about other professors and pretending to know what I was talking about and oversharing and overall being socially awkward... but it's great! I'm going to a maths class!! Thanks, CtThumbe! Darling SmTn, I wish I could tell you about it...

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