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Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Back to life as it was

This post is overdue, I suppose, but I can't quite sit down to write calmly at the house. We've got my aunt, uncle and youngest cousin staying over. When I first arrived at the As' aunt A asked where I wanted to sleep (suggested I took the couch). I said I'd sleep wherever I would wake the least number of people and my uncle just bit the bullet and said he'd be sleeping on the couch. Which left me to sleep in my bed, next to my aunt and cousin sharing another next to me. Dirty bedsheets though, which I haven't brought up and won't be bringing up until they're gone and I can do some laundry. All my things had been put into two boxes, as if trying to erase all evidence of me living in the room. All things including my computer (the one my parents got me for my birthday only in February), which was at the bottom of the bottom box. And got pressure spots. Of course. I pointed this out as I hurriedly tried to get my bookbag ready for the first day of class and my cousin relayed this information to aunt A who came to my room with crazy eyes and a look of faked remorse to ask what had happened to my computer. As if she fucking cared. 

I had to ask uncle A to give me a ride to the bus stop yesterday morning and right after "Good morning" I got a "you'd better get everything ready so you can use your new car as soon as possible." Nice to see you're so eager to not have to help me out anymore. Oh, and yesterday night he was talking about how the phone I chose is so much more expensive on a monthly basis than aunt A's and it's something wrong with the phone (and probably the fact that I chose it), which he explains as "the phone uses more data every month" (not true, plus, I pretty much always have the cellular data turned off) and not as "this is the contract I agreed to but then thought I'd change, as if I hadn't" (much more likely to be the case). Thanks for the tip, I'm working on it. Haven't seen BCM or cousin S. They haven't even called to say hello, pick up their presents or say "Thanks for the Christmas presents you left behind." (Not that anyone did.) I just had uncle A telling me I have to get cousin S to explain how to get new tires for the car. Which is not so much a "Here, we're trying to be nice" gift as a "Get off our backs, we want as little to do with you as possible" gift. Compare this to my family turning the house upside down cleaning and making a "Welcome home" poster complete with Adventskalendar and extra pieces of candy for good measure. 

Back in university things are a bit of a mess. Bureaucracy is making the rounds, as usual, this time in the form of not being able to register for a class because either I was told to take the wrong one by the academic advisor or the system is failing for you to get the permit for the one he told me about. Turns out they want me to get permits from a cancelled/unavailable phone number or someone who no longer works here. I thought I'd give the audit another shot, after not getting an answer from the professor teaching the class. It's geometric group theory, after all, and it sounds quite lovely, doesn't it? Didn't find him in his office. A very nice professor confused me with someone else and asked me to ask elsewhere. I turned to the secretary who promptly informed me that auditing a class costs money and it was up to me to find out how much. By the time I did, I gave up hope on showing up for the class to ask for the professor's permission: it would cost half as much as a regular class (read: too damned much). Curiously, looking for the cost of auditing a class I found out this university wastes a lot of money. In ways that can be verified and are actually forbidden by the law. So, not only am I charged an outrageous amount of money to attend a class without getting anything for it (besides an education), I know that money is being put to stupid uses. Too bad and too sad, I can't afford to pay that much and I've been dissuaded from trying to audit the class without permission (they say it's very much forbidden, like it's so wrong to want more knowledge). I'm really upset about this. It really doesn't cost the professor any additional effort to have me in the class, and as long as there are seats available in the classroom and I don't audit more than one or two classes per semester, it really should not cost a thing. There went my last shot at trying maths around here. 

Back in the office, nothing too exciting in terms of work. ON just walked into his office and complimented my hair. Which made me feel stupid. Social awkwardness at work. 

I've made arrangements to get a one on one session with the therapist leading group therapy. Just to sort out the whole "let's get me some pills" thing already. Because you know it's too much when you secretly wish the plane will crash down so you have an excuse not to go back to the As and you start crying on the bus ride to university just thinking of how much happier the dogs are to see you and welcome you than the As are.

As little help as they are (they were driving pretty much all the way to campus to go to a museum, yet they didn't think to ask me if they could drop me off/I'd like to come with), my aunt, uncle and cousin at least attempt to tell polite lies and help me out a bit. I sort of dread them leaving me alone with the As again because I won't get enough of a rest or enough help getting around while I sort out the car insurance business. 

I don't quite have time for it now, as I should be running off to class in 15min or so, but I should write a post about wants.

[Friday night edit]
An Unwelcome Back Party: two Christmas presents, from cousin S's girlfriend and cousin I appeared today as aunt A cleaned up Christmas. It would appear I've lost an earring, as I found a single earring in the bottom of one of the boxes my stuff was in. Which I somehow had to empty (even though I don't have much room and can't put everything back in its rightful place) because aunt A needed them to pack away the Christmas decorations. (Kind of made me wonder if it was even necessary to put all my things away in the first place, seeing how other completely in the way, trashable items were still there, including cousin S's second hand computer, which didn't receive the treatment my new computer did.)

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