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Saturday, 7 September 2013


Can you swoon hard? I swoon hard. SmTn just said it's always nice talking to me. Isn't that always true and a mutual feeling? Moreover, he says I make him want to be a better person.



   And it's important to him that I know this.


I'm flushed and flustered and humbled and feeling like my response can't have been enough and... *sigh*


I wish I could hug him. 

He wishes he weren't fumbling with words because it's oh-so-late but it's important to him that I know how special I am for him. 

I just wish I could tell him how he makes my days brighter, how a shitty day when I talk to him suddenly starts looking up, how he makes me feel good about myself and about the world and about life, how I try so hard to be worthy of being his friend because I just don't know how I ever got to deserve someone as nice as him, how I'm a bit embarrassed that I can't ever put to words what comes so naturally to him but wish I could tell him I feel the exact same way, how... 

And all I could manage was "You're special to me too." "You have a magic ability to impart patience and perspective." Because anything else (who am I kidding, that too) would be crossing the line. 

But he's so lovely!

It's all I can do to send him a virtual hug before he goes to sleep.

I'll leave another one here, just because.

*virtual hug* sweet SmTn. Have lovely dreams. :)

PS: Yes, I am vaguely aware of the fact that this trying to be better for each other, trying to impress the other, make them smile and be so damned endearing is considered flirting and that, in the context of being friends with SmTn, it is oh-so-very wrong. I know. I do. 

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