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Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Shut up, brain! Just STAAAHP!

Where to even start...?

I felt considerably less stupid today during class than I had in a while because I answered "what makes proteins?" with "ribosomes" and "where?" with "in the endoplasmic reticulum." A girl corrected me, said it was actually the Golgi apparatus, then double checked herself and felt the need to apologise at the end of the class. I found it was odd she felt this need, but I smiled and told her it was okay. I really did not give a flying fuck. 

I also found a technique that appears to work (sort of) in the impossibly boring classes: doodle. My doodle of choice is a Jordan curve in increasingly small grids. Drawing these as I listen professors talk in the background is more effective than actually trying to pay attention. You'd be surprised. That's how I managed to answer the bit about ribosomes and the endoplasmic reticulum. I was actually aware of what the questions were (and remembered the answers). 

Arrangements are being made to start this thing called networking. I hate it. I hate the idea. I hate the thought of how good jobs don't go straight to the people who are best qualified for them. I hate the concept of using leverage to get yourself anywhere. I hate selling marketing selling myself. Hate it. But... it's sort of necessary if I'm going to make things work in this made-up future where I can afford to pay for my sister's tuition. I doubt the salaries I can look forward to are as handsome as I'd like them to be in order to pay for rent, services, groceries, basic necessities, tuition, materials and transportation leaving enough to save... but if I can only just manage I can make it work somehow. I don't care if we're stuck in a tiny apartment that's a bit out of the way as long as it's functional, safe and affordable. Apparently, networking is the way to make sure I get the positions that won't be offered to the general public, the ones that will likely pay a bit more than most recent graduates can aspire to. Here's hoping I'm not terrible at it.

I've so far spent the better part of my afternoon doing my nails. And really just that, in the realm of usefulness. I removed the nail polish from Friday, even though it still looked decent/only needed minor fixes because it was too bright. I painted my nails a neutral-ish shade of pink and then painted them over with a paler shade, afraid even that was too bright. I'm already trying out primer/foundation combinations and bought a brush to straighten my hair.

In the non-vain side of this networking thing, I had my résumé corrected again. The counsellor suggested I open an account in LinkedIn and, finding the one I thought I had no longer exists, I opened up a new one. It was overwhelming, really. So many options. So much information needed. What sort of picture am I supposed to use? I'll have to take a picture of myself just for this purpose now and I don't even know what clothes or background to use. Who am I supposed to add? There are so many people being suggested! So many!...

... and yet LesMisGuy caught my eye. Fuck. Deleted from every other place (he no longer shows up as a Hotmail/Skype contact either, I'm not sure how LinkedIn found him) he shows up there and... It got me all flustered. 

*sigh*

I still need more time, I guess.

As for everything else... well, I didn't do much. I watched Castle. I... er... er... had lunch? But then ate nothing more than a teaspoon of chocolate for "dinner"? Remind me to buy water and a mug to have in the office, and to find out if the microwave oven there works. And to maybe consider buying hair clips to hold my hair while I'm drying it. And to exfoliate and moisturise and get my legs in dress condition. And to read for the research. And to study. And to print copies of my résumé. And prepare an elevator speech.

But instead I do my nails, buy a brush and e-mail SmTn.


Soundtrack for the last few days: "Lullaby of Birdland," as sung by the great Ella Fitzgerald and "I wanna be like you" from The Jungle Book.





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