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Sunday, 29 September 2013

In honour of smiles

I could write about spying one of aunt A's lies, about how I never lower my expectations enough, and how I'm having trouble letting go of things but I'm smacking that thought in the head because I have to honour my therapist's advice. 

Today's post is about smiles.

 - Cousin S's girlfriend lent me a nail polish that makes a sort of dupe for a Chanel one (it's between "Alchimie" and "Peridot," though closer to "Peridot"). Last time we met she asked if I knew what was in for the season I mentioned having fallen in love with these colours but how hard they are to find dupes for and she mentioned having bought one just like it. I couldn't get it to apply as evenly as I'd like and do it justice, but it's lovely. Today during lunch she asked about my social life (though not in so many words) and made a few suggestions, including the contemporary art museum/gallery on campus. 

 - The gay waiter who brought us lunch and drinks today. I know work as a waiter is far from glamorous and is actually quite low in the list of "jobs people like to have" but he was smiling all the time. Happy smiles, not car salesman smiles. He was sweet and perky and I loved him. 

 - Cousin S. Who took me out to practice driving again. Because he trusts me in a car, has the patience to teach me and is reasonable.

 - SmTn. I wish I could tell him so in so many words, but the way he talked about networking (about letting employers know you really are their best pick, about how most people are actually nice and deserve the benefit of my doubt, about how I could take a Sheldon approach to networking if it still felt unnatural)... it was like a word hug. He hugged me with words: he told me everything would be all right, that I wouldn't be betraying my principles or could at least have fun doing so by thinking about it a bit too much. He read through me when I half-jokingly said I had the silly idea of how the best people got the best jobs just by submitting their résumés and I wouldn't have money problems if I could sell myself instead of marketing myself. He saw the underlying insecurities and hugged them out of existence. With words. 

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