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Friday, 30 August 2013

It was clearer before

Pretty sure I had dreams to write down today but I didn't again. I had this vague notion of how today, or some other morning I'd had this very clear realisation about a pattern in my dreams. I can't remember what it was exactly, I'm afraid. Having said that, I'm venturing a guess because it seems to me now that one of the dreams that fit the pattern was the one where the Phantom and I kissed and there was something or other about cycles involved in the relationship between the dreams. It could all have something to do with the dreams where I try to re-live life as I wish it had happened, with dream-like modifications. I dream about a solution to the warm nights, I dream about getting that one kiss from SmTn and then getting over the whole thing, I dream about the way things would make me happy.

On another note, minus 20 social skills points because I attended the orientation today and not only did I see and not greet the only two people I knew who were there and sat just two seats away from me. Well, I did say hi to one but then not the other (shame on me!) and I didn't dare switch seats when they were talking with some others behind them because I felt wrong taking the other two seats (I didn't know if the people in them would come back... they didn't... I felt left out and like it was wrong to join in their conversation. There's also this weird thing where I think I upset the girl I was helping out somehow, last time we met she seemed upset/annoyed and I wonder if it was something I did). So I ate staring at my plate, randomly looking around and eventually just opting for reading Les Misérables. I'm quite proud to announce I can make sense of 85% of the text and need nothing more than a French dictionary to help me with the rest (5% of which I probably wouldn't know even if I knew more French just because they're quite specific and old-fashioned words). 

Aunt A's spiteful remark of the day came when uncle A asked about the mobile phone he'd like to give me. He asked the other night what phone I had and said he was thinking of changing it for a smartphone (one of the higher end ones), that they were quite cheap now because a new phone is coming out in a bit. I said thank you and offered I'd been looking at others (partly because SmTn had mentioned the one with the impressive camera, partly because they're so much cheaper and those are the ones I could have actually afforded). He told me to look it over and make my mind up. So today he asked and aunt A just had to ask: aren't those expensive? So expensive cousin S couldn't buy one when they first came out a year ago? I explained the circumstances that kept him from buying one and how BCM got hers for a reasonable price. Uncle A pointed out they're much less expensive now and I don't think he would have budged much even if they were expensive. Aunt A's point was loud and clear: "are you spending money on giving her something expensive??" 

Spiteful. I told you.

Quick aside, to end on a less sour note. Victor Hugo is quite a master of imagery. He gave guillotines a personality and it was lovely. Not that his character descriptions are bad (they're great), I'd just never seen such wonderful descriptions of everyday objects. Let me see if I can find the oxymoron I fell in love with... Here! "La sérénité presque violente du moment funèbre." 

*slow clapping*

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