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Sunday, 16 June 2013

Egos

Selfish much? Uncle A chose his father's day meal to be something aunt A has wanted for a while: x. It doesn't matter what x is, only that there are as many recipes are there are families that cook it and that aunt A believes there's a "true" recipe corresponding to this one time she had it. So, in spite of other any input from mum and recipes for what a lot of people might call x my sister and I found in cookbooks, she wanted to somehow emulate that one x. Problem? Uncle A is in a vegetarian vibe and won't (except begrudgingly) eat meat, a main ingredient in x. So, he asked that we make x mostly with vegetables (hardly x at all). Aunt A bargained for some meat and did whatever she wanted, adding nothing for flavour except onion, a few sprigs of coriander I convinced her would go nicely, and powdered chicken stock. Not even the vegetables most recipes (and, one might add, her precious chicken stock) depend on. Because she doesn't like vegetables and she wouldn't have her remembered x have any she didn't see. End result? I won't say it was bad, but it could have been better. 

Self-centred much? CtThumbe wrote back (after quite a while, I might add). She's back with her lifetime boyfriend and working on her thesis before she leaves. We might be able to arrange something to meet next semester. It would be lovely. While the back-with-boyfriend-only-f0r-a-few-months-and-while-very-busy could worry me, I know she's happy and that she's great at relationships and it will work out all right in the end. Except for the minor problem of how not-in-love with him she was last time, but that's for her to sort out and not really any of my business. The news made me think of LesMisGuy (who I'd been thinking of quite a lot lately, for no reason I can think of). In particular, hearing this about CtThumbe got this idea into my head that if she got back together with her ex then LesMisGuy and I could/should have been a couple and we could/should have worked out quite nicely. Except for one very not minor detail: I don't know how to be in a relationship. A good part of the reason why is that I've never been in one. I must be, frankly, a quite terrible girlfriend. A loving, caring, at-least-attempts-to-act-reasonable, more-than-willing-to-please, quirky girlfriend, but a terrible one nonetheless. I don't know how often to call, how to communicate, what to say, what to do, how to behave. What on Earth do I want with a boyfriend anyway? Why does it feel so imperative I should have one that I can't shake the thought of LesMisGuy off even now and in silent loneliness I call out love interest names when I know it all means precisely nothing?

That, dear blog, is a problem for another time. Now I should read what I have so far only pretended to have read so I don't make a fantastic fool out of myself talking to Pf2 tomorrow. 

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