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Friday, 24 May 2013

Oh, for the love of...!

Note to self: 

1) OCD does not mix well with a good soap opera,
2) you know you have a problem when a soap opera villain reminds you of an ex and you find him attractive,
3) what is wrong with you, woman? WORK!
4) it might be a good idea to learn how to have an adult conversation.

Seeing how it makes no sense to get into items 1-3... I've put off writing about item 4. I spoke with SmTn. The old man and aunt MT called while we were talking. Aunt MT could tell I was typing and we agreed to talk later, only I didn't call her again because I'm horrible. *sigh* It's not ever not nice talking to SmTn, but this time I have to make an effort to see it. He said it was nice reading my e-mail and complimented me for being a good writer. We spent a great deal of time talking about economics (read: he spent a lot of time trying to explain the stock market to me). Cliché that it is, I'd just about given up on hearing from him ever again today and was surprised to find him online. Embarrassing as it is, when we were close to ending the conversation and he said it was nice talking to me I said something along the lines of "it's nice talking to you too, hope it's not a month before we talk again soon, catching up by then will be pointless... jkjk lol, you have work to do and I haven't got a summer job ;)" You know, because the first part wasn't bad enough I had to try to make it less bad fucking it up with the second. What right do I have to ask him to write any more often, eh? What's my business telling him when to contact me, huh? Why on Earth did I think that saying it was a joke (a terrible one) somehow made the above any less stupid? 

But really, though. I just can't have an adult conversation and it's embarrassing. I drift off, I can't stay serious, I don't understand or do so only very naïvely. I said cars, technology and economics are similar in that I don't care much for either, necessities as they are, and don't bother understanding more than gross generalisations of them. Word!

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