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Sunday, 14 April 2013

Dear blog, K is being nosy

It's not that it's unexpected, and I started the conversation in the first place out of boredom, but we were talking about birthday presents and next thing I know he's brought up the subject of relationships and is asking if I have a boyfriend. I said no and he asked if I'd been in a relationship. I said "not really" (well, not really, I very briefly went over having had a boyfriend 7+ years ago but it not being very serious). I mentioned (because... well, I don't know why, to be honest, to make it look like I'm less of a love failure?) the last time I was close to being in a relationship of sorts was about 2 years ago but it failed spectacularly. He asked, so I told him about LesMisGuy. It felt like the "normal" thing to do would be to ask about him, so I asked "how about you?" and he told me he had a girlfriend for 2 years 4 years ago. I didn't really want to know more, but after telling him my story I was out of a conversation topic so I asked how come he hasn't had anyone in 4 years and I'm already feeling stupid because I didn't think to say "if you don't mind me asking" or change the subject already. 

It's not that I mind telling him, though it still hurts a bit to remember LesMisGuy I can tell the story with a straight-ish face. It's that I don't know how to handle such conversations. Where are they supposed to lead? What am I supposed to say? I can't help but overthink everything and worry that anything I say will mean more than I intend it to. I asked and he answered, he hasn't found anyone yet. He asked me back. After not etting a quick enough answer from A (not that any advice from her could help much) I answered the same thing "not yet." I worry that's supposed to somehow allude to him or not, but perhaps yes and I just don't know! Like I said, I can't quite have these conversations like a normal person would. How does a normal person have such conversations?

When do I plan to get married? Nosy, much? Never (unless I could marry SmTn, which we all know I won't). Does he want to know that?

Oh, his parents expect him to marry in two years' time. Awesome.

Wait, there's more. He wants to know my views on premarital sex. That's... I don't know what to make of it. He has 2 years to find the girl he's going to marry and he wants to shag me in the meantime? 

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