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Sunday, 31 March 2013

One of those nights (when it sucks to have a uterus)

Only girls would understand, and only a few of those at that. I haven't been able to sleep. I'm in bed, under the covers and it's not that cold out but I'm cold. Actually I'm not all cold, I'm only cold from the waist down and it doesn't matter how hard I try to curl up into a ball, breathe inside the covers and somehow distribute my body heat: my feet are freezing and no warmth is enough for my aching uterus. It's swollen, screaming bloody murder (quite literally) and it's bad enough that I had to pee, poop and vomit just to make room for it. The pills aunt A gave me are supposed to be good for 8 hours at a time, which means I can only take the next one sometime when I wake up. I wish I could just take acetaminophen like I used to. I wish I had a warm blanket to wrap around myself when I hurt like I used to. I wish I could make myself some hot beverage (or have someone who could make it for me). I don't. I hurt and it occurred to me that maybe the heat of the laptop's battery would do in the stead of the electric blanket I don't have. I can't say it's working yet. 

Adding insult to injury is the fact that not one or two but three times I have completely failed to buy sanitary pads. Not because I forgot, no. I just got the wrong thing, three fucking times. How? They all bloody look alike. First time I got panty liners. It was a big bag and it looked like it might contain pads. Not so. Second time I got sanitary wipes. Scented ones. Who even uses those? Do you ever need them? Ever? Why would you put perfume near your sensible bits? WHY? Third time I figured I'd try and make up for buying the damned wipes by buying actual pads. I double checked the packaging to see that it looked big enough to contain pads and I even found a picture of what the product looked like on some panties. I got it wrong again. Fucking panty liners again. Unbelievable. After 10 years (at least) of buying sanitary products every. bloody. month. I fuck it up. Damned be the deceitful advertising and packaging. 

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