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Sunday, 30 December 2012

I could write a bad comic

So... what an unexciting last few days (and future day ahead, might I add). Yesterday afternoon we went to the cinema, to watch a film I wasn't very fond of (instead of Les Misérables, which will have to wait until a future date). I had no idea we were going to the cinema, leave alone know at what time, and it was at least a little uncomfortable to munch and hurry through the last bits of my lunch so we could get there on time. Nevertheless, it was something to do, and it's not so bad going to the cinema. Going to a family get-together with the same people (more or less) from this Christmas' reunion. On the brighter side of things, the conversations weren't quite as dreadful. I don't have much else to say that's even mildly nice about the whole thing, so I'll just point out I was rather bored and leave it at that.

Today, we would have gone out for lunch but we didn't. Aunt A would have normally come to let me know and ask what I'd like for lunch (which is my cue to go into the kitchen and fix myself lunch). She didn't tell me we weren't going out for lunch. She told cousin I and offered him lunch. I wasn't too hungry and I had food in my room (leftover granola bars from the days when AOB was around, plus A's Christmas presents), so I stayed in my room well past lunch-time. That's when aunt A asked if I wanted to go grocery shopping with her. I said yes, mostly because I needed some antihistamines to fight my renewed allergy to cat hair. Aunt A has a problem with shopping, and it's not just the fact that she buys things until there's no place to put the new things. It has to do with an underlying naughty child attitude behind it.

At the supermarket, she wanted to change soap brands. It matters not what soap, except that it was two different kinds and both were liquid. She opened the caps to smell them. After failing to close one of the bottles, I closed it and she nevertheless opted for picking a new one that hadn't been tampered with. Now, she refuses to buy things that look tampered with and I'm sure most people will avoid such products. While it's the big company that can afford to lose, the less astute buyers are the ones stuck with over a litre of soap leaking out from their grocery bags. I pointed out to aunt A that if she opened a bottle she should buy that bottle instead of taking a new one, but it was hopeless. You can tell Karma is a bitch (here, I'd write at least two or three plotlines for Cyanide & Happiness comics about a woman named Karma) because both the new bottle she changed and the other bottle of soap leaked and made a small mess on the way back.

Cousin S came over for dinner, which in this case meant sausages, rice aunt A made, salad, and a very salty (almost inedible) mole sauce aunt A made. I took care of my own salad. Earlier I'd helped put away the dishes that were in the dishwasher. There were quite a few dishes but I figured aunt A could take care of it, so after dinner I retreated to my room to continue watching The Phantom of the Opera. Aunt A asked me to help organise the kitchen, but she said it in a rather ugly tone. I felt as if I were a house maid and I'd somehow forgotten to do the dishes like I'd been instructed and she were "politely" reminding me of my duties. Treat me like Cinderella? I'll be Cinderella, but I'll reserve the right to bitch about it. I did pretty much everything except put away the leftover rice in a container and throw two things away, which aunt A took care of. She pretended to be busy helping even though she was evidently not doing an awful lot until she just gave up and went to her room. Leaving me to deal with cleaning the kitchen counter, the small oven and grill the sausages were cooked in, cleaning the pans, putting away the dishes in the dishwasher, and cleaning the mess left behind by the salty sauce. When I was almost done, only just preparing to clean the stove (which I was hoping I'd be able to do before she got back and started telling me about how I was going to scratch it with sodium bicarb, hot water and a wet cloth) she came back into the kitchen to tell me to leave the stove for her to clean later. I explained I was already midway through cleaning it and I'd sooner get it all over with. She attempted to excuse herself saying her back hurt (what do you suppose she would have done if I weren't here, eh? I'm 80% sure it was a bad lie). I told her to go lie down and ultimately decided not to use the bicarb, lest that strike an argument I was in no mood for.

When I was done I made a mental note to remember to pick up new rubber gloves (mine have a hole in the right thumb) and came back to the phantom. Mum called. She asked about our preparations for tomorrow and I explained that it's looking like it will be just an ordinary day chez les A because reasons. Mum's sad that I won't get to run and chomp down grapes, and sprinkle people with champagne and make silly fun things. She suggested I cook something delicious and while that normally would be an invitation for fun, I do declare living with aunt A and uncle A has downright sucked the fun out of cooking. 

Cooking used to be something enjoyable, something to look forward to. But when mum suggested I make turkey breast I grimaced and thought of ways to talk her out of it before someone outside heard. I don't feel like cooking. I don't have nice knives, big chopping boards, or proper ingredients. Asking for so much as a new potato peeler would be trouble (aren't the things here good enough?), and choosing anything at all to cook would be a headache. Turkey? Uncle A's vegetarian (or so he says). Forget about him... how about I make a nice stuffed turkey breast wrapped with bacon? Oh... but the cholesterol in bacon... No good... What if I pick x and  y vegetables? I can just imagine aunt A talking about how she doesn't like them or how she only eats them in some very specific way. I can just imagine cooking and being given strange looks (at best) and impertinent remarks about how I'm not doing things whichever way aunt A decided is the right way. All so after that I can be stuck doing the dishes because I sure as fuck won't get much help in that department. 

Should I get grapes so we can all eat a dozen at midnight? I don't really like grapes, and I'm not sure aunt A, uncle A or cousin I would engage in such silly activities as trying to munch down grapes in a hurry to do other things. Eating them slowly as we all look bored trying to remember which grape corresponds to which month and talking about our predicted next year is a somewhat depressing thought... By then, back home, we would be doing other things, like running out the door with suitcases. But it's too cold to go out and no one would come out with me so what would the point of that be? How about drinking champagne where we put our jewellery? Drink champagne? Am I insane? Aunt A's got diabetes to worry about, I'm sure getting just any champagne would be an issue for uncle A, I don't even suppose cousin I drinks champagne and what am I supposed to do with a bottle, all by myself? Yellow underwear? I'll try to remember. New clothes? It will have to be just a new t-shirt (if that at all). I can put a few coins in a shoe, and that's about it... I'd ask for soap to blow bubbles with but who's going to join me? Pray tell me: what would the point of any of that be?

If I can make it through the night and back into my room without breaking down I'll call it a victory. I have shit to do. I only just finished a hexaflexagon for cousin I (I sort of feel I owed it to him, though I'm sure he couldn't care less). I've yet to write on the book I intend to send SmTn, and I've yet to ask cousin I if he wouldn't mind sending it. I haven't translated my résumé and I haven't asked for ThPr's recommendation letter. I haven't written a statement of purpose and I haven't sorted out the health insurance plan that will cover me next semester. I've done fuck all to get a driver's license, by the way. And I so don't feel like doing any of it. For the most part, it's all I can do to watch make-up tutorials, to browse through make-up items I'd like to have but can't in any way justify having, to watch The Phantom of the Opera with the headphones SmTn sent me for Christmas and try not to think too much of my little one or how much less miserable she'd make this whole situation just by existing and breathing softly, near me. 

[Day after edit]
Thank the stars for AOB. He told me about Mr. Nobody and I got to watch it last night. It's a film unlike any I'd seen in a very long time. It's wonderful. I can't elaborate on that last statement properly. It was all I could do to tell AOB "Thank you." I couldn't convey how much I'd liked the film, nor how badly I'd needed such a distraction last night. I couldn't thank him as effusively as I would have liked to without sounding at least a little strange(r... than usual).

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