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Saturday, 24 November 2012

EBF was right, it seems... But now I can't make sense of myself

Mind the label. I won't be too graphic, but still.

I want to get this down before I forget it completely. EBF said I was having very horny dreams when I told him about flirting with strangers. I know exactly what he'd say about this one.

In one dream I was in a rather bizarre room. It was an old abandoned-looking apartment. It was fairly dark (no lights on), it had huge windows letting in a grey light, and there was a swimming pool in one end of it. Well, not exactly a swimming pool so much as a fairly large body of water, overflooded, in a corner. I know it was cold because in some of the edges the water was starting to freeze and form small caps. 

My business in that room was that there was this young man, kind of handsome but not particularly exciting-looking, likely enough European (British?) I'd agreed to have sex with. So had some other girl. It was some sort of weird threesome which had to take place in the pool for reasons unknown to me at the moment. While the other girl got ready/thought about it, I jumped in the pool having decided I might as well get started. I was willing, in an "I don't really care" sort of way. I believe all I thought about was I wouldn't mind kissing a sort of handsome stranger and getting some out of it. I started by kissing him. He was a terrible kisser. Sloppy, cold, hard and hurried. He was in some sort of hurry to get it going without any proper foreplay. I'm not 100% sure now, but I think I went along with it. I didn't enjoy it, but I didn't feel particularly bad after it either. 

In another dream I was in a tropical/Caribbean island setting. There was a polygamous society in place there of half arab half black looking people. There were several princes among them (none of them handsome, if you thought you'd ask). Being married to any of them meant you had to sleep with all of them, each hanging out by a small bay (the beach was made of several u-shaped bays, one next to the other). Rather than being "very pregnant" (that's how it worked out in my dream" the women then turned into some kind of animal, sparing them the trouble of having so many babies. I somewhat begrudgingly agreed to do it. I went through with it with the first prince and decided I wanted nothing to do with the following ones. Again, it was a rather bland experience. I wasn't upset about it. I just hadn't enjoyed myself and didn't feel like wasting my time. 

I don't know why I feel like I have to point out that I didn't particularly care for the taste and smell of either man. (Don't be so alarmed, I mean the kind you'd smell and taste by kissing. This isn't such a graphic post.)

I woke up knowing I had to write this down because it feels significant. I woke up thinking that for all I did in the dreams, for all I've experienced in waking life, the sexiest experiences I can think of are LesMisGuy's kisses and D's (D's, in this case, are limited to that time on my fifteenth birthday party). 

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