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Sunday, 4 November 2012

Conflicted feminism

While I'm sure some would consider me feminist, with my disregard for some gentlemanly rules (which is not to say I don't appreciate a nice gesture for what it is), I don't really consider myself a feminist. I'm all for gender equality, within reason. And I feel like I have to explain that "within reason" because some people understand gender equality to mean women can and should do everything and that's just not reasonable because we never ask the same of men. I say women and men should be given equal opportunities to do what they can and please and be compensated equally for it. 

On to it, then. I'm about to sound quite feminist. 

I was babysitting LC4 last night and a few thoughts struck me. Even as he pulled out toy after toy, I couldn't help but notice the mechanical nature of his toys and compare them to what I had when I was little, to what little girls get to play with. Little girls play mums, taking care of dolls, hosting tea parties, dressing themselves up, getting make-up, cooking (or pretend cooking). Now, riddle me this: where do you suppose that backwards thought that women are no good for science and maths comes from? I can tell you, off the top of my head, that if they test children then there's a good chance that little boys do better with puzzles, building blocks and other "smartness exercises" because they've been trained and little girls haven't. I daresay the influence of these toys goes a bit farther, shaping the way people think and learn. It's quite unfair, really. Whoever decided little girls wouldn't have fun building things? Whoever decided boys can't play with dolls making elaborate stories and conversations rather than imagining fights and explosions? 

Note that last question, dear reader, because it really goes both ways. Just the way boys are raised in a "mathematical" and "sciencey" setting, girls are brought up to develop certain social skills many men will lack well into adulthood. And I don't see why it should be so. Equal opportunities. How can anyone know that these preset things are exactly what boys and girls like? I suspect they're told to like and expected to like certain things, but shouldn't they get to choose without anyone judging a boy as girly or a girl as tomboyish (like it's a bad thing)? 

It's really not my place, and I'd never say this out loud, but LC4 needs an outlet. He sometimes lets things on, and I think he'd benefit from being able to play situations out. I dare say nothing to what he lets on and I don't even know if he ever speaks out with others or if I should.

In unrelated news, during lunch with aunt A's friends they were all talking about tragedies (it's how it goes, apparently) and one of them, noticing how quiet I was, asked me: "has nothing bad happened in Bta?" Goodness...

In a somewhat related note, I don't much care for having a uterus. This whole menstruation nonsense can truly be very annoying, you know.

In another unrelated note, N1 broke it off with his FWB. In a not quite so unrelated (to this blog) note, I told EBF about my dream because I had to and sometimes I can't quite hold back such urges and I of course regret it because facebook has kindly let me know that he's read my message and just didn't think to reply.

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