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Tuesday, 11 September 2012

I dream of vampires

I had a sort of nightmare last night. I was sleepless, to begin with. Comes with a sort of down mood I've been in. I couldn't pull myself to get any work done yesterday. I just lay on the bed, sort of slept through a make-up tutorial and then just played Fairway Solitaire. Well into midnight (it must have been past 1am when I fell asleep). Moreover, after I turned off the lights I couldn't stop thinking of LesMisGuy and had horrible thoughts about silence. I had horrible thoughts about his silence. I drove myself mad for a bit, thinking of how nice it was to kiss him and then bashing myself about thinking it was nice when the whole thing made me so miserable. I'm not sure any of this explains my dream, but it might account for its dreadful nature.

The dream starts with me soaking wet, I know not why. I was with aunt M and I was afraid I might have ruined something of hers (a machine or appliance... might as well have been a shower or bath tub). There I was, afraid of repercussions because I'd fucked up when aunt M told me my parents were calling for me. In my dream, that was because the old man wanted to thank me for a shirt I'd given him as a present. I went out of the room aunt M was in and made to meet my parents. They were at the house living room, which was dark. I assume it was late at night. They pointed at a little girl by the a couch in the back of the room. I'm realising only now that there is no couch there, as that's where the library is. This girl must have been 6 or 7 years old. She looked pale and had straight black hair down to her shoulders. I believe she was autistic, but her special needs might have been others. She was just there in the dark and I was in charge of her, so I'd been called to get her to sleep. 

I pulled her in a bed with me, under the covers, and feared I'd get her all wet and cold but I couldn't think of anything else to do. We were in my parents' bedroom. Then, next thing I know, both the girl and I had turned into vampires. And nothing like the silly glittery people shown on television. A different species. Humanoid, all right. But about a head taller than the average human, sallow but not quite so pale skin, straight black hair. Facial features were quite different, almost fiendish in nature: squinted beady eye pulled up, higher up in the face than average. A long distance between the nose and the lips. Thin, almost scrawny complexion, with a caved in rib cage and small, sagging breasts (we were naked). I fail to recollect any memory of wings, though I presume we had bat wings, and yet I'm quite sure we had some appendage or other. We looked at each other and wondered. I suppose we didn't know we were both vampires. We asked one another about some practical tool we both forgot about, like a pencil. When I woke up I was a little afraid of the dark, to be very honest, and was relieved to find that the light outside my room had been left on all night.

In another dream, I was teaching my class from last semester. Only 5-8 students were there. They were bored and one of them (not really from my class) asked if we couldn't arrange something to make the class more interesting, because he felt like it was a waste of time. I looked at my watch and figured we could squeeze in some kind of activity outside in 30min. It was dark and there was a red glowing light about the whole classroom. It almost reminded me of late nights in the city. In this dream I'd picked up a bag of chocolates form some place related to the professor who passed away recently. Buying them was some sort of commemoration of him. I opted to give my students the candy and ran into CtThumbe who remarked how delicious those chocolates were and asked what I was doing with them. Apparently, she'd given me a bag just like it and I'm now hesitating and wondering if I didn't come up with the commemoration story thing to lie to her about using her gift as rewards for my students... 

Aunt A picked up on my foul mood today and asked if I was sad, upset or mad. I just pointed out I was tired, that I hadn't slept very well and had had a sort of nightmarish dream about vampires. I said nothing about the horrible, horrible music she plays on the car all the fucking time. When we first got on the car the radio was still on from yesterday and I was relieved. But right away she switched it to those bloody discs of her. I think she actually hesitated. I know, I should probably speak my mind and let her know I detest that music. I've made up my mind not to disagree with her quite so often: I'm sticking to being non-confrontational.

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