Search This Blog

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Petty again, sorry

Remember N1? I can't say if things are going well with her guy. On the one hand I was thinking he only wanted to sleep with her and couldn't possibly be serious about anything else. On the other hand, he's showing remarkable levels of commitment even though there's no promise that N1 will be that good in bed (just yet). He's still texting her. Even though she's a huge drama queen. Even though she comes up with the lamest lines. 

She speaks of him owning parts of her. She speaks of wanting to have him all for herself. She pretends he's disappeared for days on end when he takes longer than a few minutes or hours to get back to her and then she acts like they're telepathically connected because he'll text her just as she's about to text him. She's falling for him, telling me she likes him so much. 

I'm tempted to dismiss her feelings as horniness turned into fake love through delusions. I'm tempted to dismiss everything he's doing as whatever comes next to get into her pants. I want to believe nothing can work between them because from my very idealistic point of view they seem to be doing everything wrong. I want to believe it takes doing things right to get things right. And yet so far it looks like it's going to work out between them.
I can't help but go on wondering: why didn't it work out between LesMisGuy and me? Why? Why? I really can't wrap my head around it. If I'm at fault for having been a bit too girly, I wasn't quite so girly after all and it was just the one time when I tried to start that stupid last conversation. What did I do wrong? What is it about me? Why didn't he even try to talk to me later? N1's guy got blueballed and he keeps on trying. EBF told me I couldn't have blueballed LesMisGuy and I will take his word for it. Is it because it didn't get so far? Why would he give up on insisting until we did go that far? Was it somehow evident that I'd never have sex with him, even though I totally would? Is that it? Is it all about sex? How could it be? Am I that boring? Why didn't he like me? What about me makes me so not worth it?

No comments:

Post a Comment