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Tuesday, 27 March 2012

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Love life blank. Not really an issue, ever. But suddenly, N1 has a guy she's sexting with and I feel like I've really done nothing with my life because by comparison to her now I really am a prude. Yes, I realise it's a very petty attitude: setting the bar  for low at N1's level and feeling that I've really hit bottom when even N1 is doing better than me. Petty. 

Not contributing to my foul mood is the fact that I attempted to start a conversation with EBF. I made three bullet points. One to tell him I'd aced the solitaire game he linked me to, another to let him know about N1 sexting a guy (a milestone on its own) and a third to tell him I've changed my short story and could use some feedback. He acted amazed at my having aced the game and then the conversation died. And now I feel idiotic for trying to talk to him, leave alone ask a favour from him. Even though it seems he only talks to me to ask me to do shit for him. Suddenly when I do it it's just so wrong. Even though writing and sending each other what we wrote wasn't quite so unusual, back in the day... Fuck. *bangs head against a wall repeatedly*

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