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Wednesday, 13 July 2011


This whole living a life thing gets in the way of getting it recorded in words here. Oh well... Last night's dream involved me being held captive with two other girls, not unlike Rikku from FFX-2. There were mirrors, and bodies were changed, and he wanted us dead. And he was also one of the guys here, one of the second floor fellas. I just remember trying to kick him in the nuts after pretending to be dead and hiding failed, only my kick was as if I'd kicked in water, it lacked strength and was useless. Then the alarm rang.

A little catch-up is in order. Day after I figured LesMisGuy must have a girlfriend (still my best theory, however unfortunate a reality it may be), I saw him online. He was online from phis phone all day, pretty much. I believe he'd already been online all day the day before. So I couldn't resist. I argued with myself and reasoned I couldn't just disappear and if I treated him at all like I would a friend, I wouldn't hesitate to say hi. I said hi, and waited. A good while later, when I was already feeling like the moron I know myself to be, he said hi back and I flushed, and I could swear the guys behind me knew, or could tell. Hell if I know. I told him a little about what it's like around here. He took a good while to answer. Then I left saying lunch was ready. I was online again later but he didn't speak first, so I didn't bother much. He was online until midnight. I'll make nothing of the fact that it was 20min or so after I appeared offline. Forget about it. I said nothing.

So that failed. And then the lectures with the professor I was told about began. He's as awesome as they come. Come day two of being with him in class, and after him asking once about the meal they gave us, I figured it should be quite all right to sit on the same bench as him. It was raining and the seating spots were limited. Had I sat by myself I would've looked like an idiot. You'd think I could've interpreted his insistence on trying to work on his computer as a sign to stay the hell away, but I didn't. Then he started by saying he didn't know me and asking my name. Again, I didn't get the message. Then the conversation just got stupid. And then awkward. And he ended up getting up with some silly excuse to go grab something to eat. Yeah... Still feel like a retard about that. Worst part is, he's quite friendly and even smiles a lot when he's talking to others. He can actually talk to the others. I didn't even dare ask for his help. I just mentioned ever so fleetingly about ThPr and what I'm trying to work on. I still feel guilty about it. I think I'll be avoiding him from now on.

On other news, I had another girl talk with CtThumbe. She mentioned she figured there was no way I was a virgin and she could've bet money I knew my way around men. Oddly enough, it's what I figured about her, but I made sure not to say anything. She just said people thought the same about her because she had a boyfriend for 4 years. Anything but, as it turns out. Also, some trauma I won't discuss at length for privacy's sake. For some reason, girl talk with CtThumbe is unusually comfortable, even knowing she could use the stuff I've told her against me if it seemed deserved. I doubt it will be. I'm just glad to find someone like her, so unusual at my age and hers. Telling someone else about LesMisGuy is a bit of a relief. I figure it can't be good that she dosen't see much of a future there either. She figures he should've made contact after we had coffee and it didn't happen. I figure he should talk to me and that doesn't happen unless I talk to him first. Bottom line is, if he were interested he'd show more initiative. And then there's the very likely girlfriend. So of course he's not interested. Tell me about it...

Totally unrelated? I rode a mechanical bull today and did half-good. Not bad, eh?

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