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Friday, 24 June 2011

Five solid minutes and counting

It would seem that sometime while I played Kirby, or Pokémon Stadium 2, LesMisGuy answered my text message. I've been shaking a little and sweating, and worrying about nonsense for 5 solid minutes. And I still can't manage to look at the actual message. I'd really like to have some kind of moral support for this. Fuck. I tried leaving N1 a facebook message. I tried sending A an IM (I'd text her except I can't even touch my phone right now). Such. A. LOSER. I'm telling you... EBF's not online either, and probably won't be until 2-3am today. And I'd already told him I got fuck all for an answer. Please let N1 get back to me. I need someone to cheer me on, and tell me to read it. I'm too much of a mess as is... I hate getting all out of control like this.

[a good while later edit:]
Took 15min, probably more, for N1 to answer. And send a virtual slap. And tell me to read it already. And for me to do it (which painstakingly was divided into unblocking my phone's keys, pressing "open" and then turning the screen to read it). He said he'd been away on a trip he just got back from (sometime around 7pm). How's Tuesday? When am I leaving?

I'll get back to him as soon as my ball-meter has time to charge a little. Which will be sometime tomorrow afternoon if I try to keep it appropriate. Right.

I feel like one of those fucking lame female characters in old novels, the kind who faint whenever they're too excited, or nervous. This. Is. So. Pathetic. (and that's not my computer with asthma, that's me in a mild panic attack.)

No, wait. This is more pathetic. Tonight's blog post was supposed to be about how I've been thinking of LesMisGuy and how the thought of kissing him keeps breaking into my head, even when I'm thinking of walking, eating, or buying groceries. And I was going to talk about how I had to knock sense into myself and slap the thought away, reminding myself yesterday was my ultimatum and I had to give it up already. Such a drama queen. I'm hating this side of me so much.

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