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Sunday, 24 April 2011

Socially impaired

I'm so freaked out about starting a conversation with LesMisGuy I'm pretty sure it's hilarious. Either way, it should be so much easier to just say "Hey, what's up? How was your vacation?" wouldn't you agree? I'll just go on writing if I manage to talk to him. It's 7:12 pm right now. We'll see how that turns out.

7:17 pm now. Just sent a "hey, how are you?". This is exhausting. I'm positive you're not supposed to stare at a screen waiting to hit enter for that long.

7:18 pm now. He answered. I'm freaking out. Shit. This should be easier. Can you just block neurotransmitters for a while or two? I have to learn how to do that... Without becoming a moron, not sure how that would work... Now I'm digressing, I believe I should be getting back to him, do what people usually do when they talk. Talk back. It's like learning how to walk all over again.

7:21 pm now. "hey you. what's up?" that's his answer. Am I uncomfortable with "hey you"? Yes. Why? I've no fucking idea. I'm all over uncomfortable, though, so I suppose it only makes sense. I said I'm not sure if I'm sorry I took time off to rest during vacations and asked how his holidays went.

7:22 pm now. He wrote back. He was at Md. Got there by car. Almost got stuck there because of the rain. He writes such short sentences I feel ridiculous writing my usual long ones. Crap. Now I fear the conversation may just. get. stuck. . I said it seemed to be a thing among people from Bta, trying out traffic jams out of the city for a change.

7:26 pm now. He wrote back. Maybe he had something witty to say. Hopefully I made him laugh. I'm such a dork I'm sure it's hilarious. I just can't see it over the sound of how awkward I am. He just said he spent almost a day driving and got here at noon today. Right. I ... I'm starting to feel I must sound a lot like Kurt. I said "ew, I'd say the sights are pretty except everything looks just as boring when it's raining."

7:28 pm now. (This is tiresome, but I won't get around this without moral support and A, N1 and EBF are all offline right now). It didn't rain on them. "Cool then, it wasn't so bad, except for the part where you spent 17 hours stuck in car."

7:30 pm now. "It was bad. But it's over now". I couldn't help myself "*there, there* (it's best when Sheldon says it)". I'm starting to realise... I'm so weird. Man, how is he supposed to get me, leave alone like me? I forgot how unique A, AOB and EBF are.

7:32 pm now. Let's see if I at least got a chuckle out of him. Hopefully it's not an awkward change of subject. Aw. Change of subject. What did I do? Read Tolstoi, play FF, sleep, eat. Turn into a walrus, sort of. I left out glee. Not that he'd mind much. It's a damn weird mix anyway. Not sure I'm supposed to ask about his holiday, since all he said is he spent hours in a car. Maybe I will. Let's see if he says something back first.

7:38 pm now. *crickets* Come on, don't give up yet. (Cue some tennis player screaming at himself for encouragement).

7:40 pm now. So... "what did you do during your vacation?" A's now online! Good! I need some words of encouragement. I feel like an idiot.

7:42 pm now. Sightseeing. Getting to know the city. It would be wrong to ask if he saw plenty of beautiful women, wouldn't it? Instant kick into the friend zone. Not that I'm sure I'm not already there. Shit. Fuck. This is not supposed to be that hard. You think. you put your fingers on the keyboard and type. You read. You type again. So fucking simple.

7:44 pm now. Which FF? XIII, just got it for X Box. How was it? Yeah, it's in here somewhere, I won't write it down again.

7:56 pm now. Pretty... I was just about to say the conversation must've died, because he said something about how he'd never gotten around to PS3 or X box and I (as briefly as I could) summarised my gaming history. He just wrote back. You'd think I'd get the hang of this. Also? Starting to be reminded of the way D wrote, such. short. sentences.

8:03 pm now. So... I uh... talked about how I don't believe in getting stuff for free after he said something about how he'd be screwed in university if he had more video games. I realised I could've said at least two smarter things. The first being that FF mythology is more complicated than TLOTR mythology and the second being that he plays chess on his blackberry during class and it doesn't seem to affect his performance so I don't see how playing video games would.

8:07 pm now. I uh.. digressed, said something about how my sister has lucky strikes. I could really use changing the conversation. I can sort of feel it stagnating already. Quick! Think! Don't talk about classes! ... Well?... Um... Er... Well, if you don't play video games what do you do during your spare time? It will have to do, won't it? Nope, not a good idea. I realised it just as I wrote it down. You have a life is what.

8:13 pm now. He doesn't believe in raffles either. He's off to have dinner.

8:49 pm now. Still not back from dinner. Probably won't be, will he?

9:05 pm now. Yeah, he's not coming back. I just closed off the window. A's gone too so I'll be out of moral support too. Time to post then, no?


Let's recap. I'd just opened the "Edit Posts" tab, I'd decided to place some labels on this one, maybe get some more writing done in another post. I was just making my mind up about whether or not to open a new post to say A actually thought her lip balm was fabulous (worked wonders on her chapped lips) and I'm pretty sure LesMisGuy was being nice avoiding me both saying he had to go and would be back and saying he'd go out with me and not getting back to me. And he just got online again. Not that we're talking just yet, though. I'll leave starting a new conversation up to him this time. Yes, I need not bring awkward upon myself again. Not to mention I'll seem a bit too all over him if I give in. Right. So I'll just go back to checking the documents my dad asked me to. 9:37 pm now.

I'll just leave the window open in case he does talk to me. Just in case. Which probably means he won't. Right. I'll just post again. Check my dad's grammar.

Minor rant: My dad literally copied and pasted the fucking document, threw it through some crappy online translator and gave it to me to translate back. Fucking outrageous. And he wouldn't even take advice on how not to fuck up so bad on the bits he translated himself. He's hopeless. Can't feel pity for the old man crying his eyes out in desperation if he's this much of a useless old man.

Back on the subject of LesMisGuy, no conversation ensued. He probably was just being nice. Or scared away from me. I really am a bit too weird for most people's comfort. Now, it's 12:27 am and I'm only just starting to react. Not sure if one of those stages things, but right now I'm a little pissed off. At the fact that the conversation was crap. Even though he tried to be nice. Even though I had A to talk to and not freak out so damn much. Boy can I pick them. If I'm right about this hunch I'm having right now (blame the PMS if you will, I don't know what I make of it just yet), he's a seamless blend of EBF and D. And it... I can't say it sucks, he's awesome and I'm not taking that back. He's just not for me, though, is he?

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