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Wednesday, 23 February 2011

I *hate* colds

I've got a cold. It started as a dry cough all of a sudden on Monday morning, and since then it's been getting worse. I've made up my mind: it's impossible to bear a cough with dignity.

I got to class today trying to keep my composure, trying to cough as little and as quietly as possible during class. I managed allright during the first class. LesMisGuy was a little late. When he came in he just sat without saying hi. I was (still am) too self-conscious about the cold. I tried to act dignified, and it wasn't so bad because I managed to hold back the coughing fits quite well. When the class was over LesMisGuy made sure to take extra time to get out after me, so I didn't bother waiting for him. I took my chance to go pee and cough half a lung out. I arrived at the other classroom and chatted with ExamGuy for a bit. Srq was there too but he was chatting with someone else so we didn't really talk. When I felt awkward standing there saying nothing I took a seat inside. LesMisGuy sat next to me (I suppose he could've sat elsewhere, only he didn't). I offered him some gobstoppers and mentioned how I had a cold and must be very contagious. He was nice (and really, that's all it was, I think) and said it was allright.

When the class hit the half hour mark I couldn't hold back the coughing. I did my best to cough quietly, and to time it so I didn't interrupt the class, but when will power availed me my body gave in anyway and I started retching even before I coughed. It was a lost battle: when I managed not to cough for long periods of time I could feel the sputum gargling as I breathed, and then when I couldn't hold the cough back anymore it was especially disgusting. That's not to mention the snot breathing, the phlegm breath, sore throat, headaches, and pain in my abs (I don't work out, coughing is as bad as crunches). I almost prefer menstrual cramps when they're not of the "puke your guts out" kind. I can take quite a lot of pain with some degree of dignity. The cold? Most certainly not. By the time I got out of class I got out in a hurry after figuring LesMisGuy wouldn't want to talk about the game theory homework like he'd hinted at the beginning of the class. I would totally understand if he was disgusted by the cold. I was disgusted by the cold and wouldn't have bothered showing up for class at all if I didn't realise I'm that much more likely to fail the two subjects I showed up for.

Oh... let this just be over with already! I've been drinking massive amounts of passion fruit juice (replacing the usual lemonade). I want some dignity back! I want to be able to talk to LesMisGuy with some sense of self-worth to replace the need to retreat and curl up into a tiny ball in fetal position. I feel like a dog, wanting to hide away when sick to hide its weakness...

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