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Thursday, 6 January 2011

I wish I could just bring her back... even if it is a little selfish...

Last night's dreams...

In one, I was in the kitchen with my sister and my little one. I even had the good sense to realise she's not actually alive, but decided I'd better take every chance I got to be with her, so I petted her as I sat on the foor.

In another dream I was in this hotel by the beach with a and girls from school1. Sometimes we were in academic meetings, and we had to sit around on these white chairs and tables in a kiosk (rather fancy, not at all like the school kiosk, it was painted white, had a real roof with red tiles). I can't really remember why we were there or what it is we were supposed to be doing. At some point I was on the beach, where the waves hit the sand, wearing a big towel over me as a girl (the one from the family of 5, now 4) asked what I'd been doing all semester. It's odd that I told it like the semester was a full school year, divided but not ended by the Christmas holidays. It's also a bit odd that the water suddenly washed over me and it was so hard to get away from it, and that the water got my towel soaked but I didn't get wet. We all left for our rooms, we were divided into two rooms, and some German guy chased after us. As A and I ran to our room he went in with the other girls and spoke to them in German. I amused myself thinking the only one understanding would be Tz (though I don't actually have any reason to believe she'd understand German). As I sat on a bed rummaging my mochila for candy and waiting for the guy to reach us, I woke up.

In another dream before all this I was on the dinner table with some people I've been in class with, and my cousin (just married) as well as men who were supposed to be professors. She was asking for help with something and several of the professors argued she wasn't their daughter and they didn't owe her better explanations. My cousin was trying to build a bridge to go over a bit of water in the place the houses were built in Barú, and was trying to do so entirely based on the theory, asking professors for help and taking charge of the practical side. I remember I was drawing on a wooden board something that needed to be cut, and I even reached for some weird nails with plastic sheaths to nail on. My mum had decorated the house with artwork the girls I used to be friends with made when we were in school (no later than 8th grade, I think... I remember the one where we had to make play dough balls). When my cousin remarked on how pretty they were I offered she could take them with her, and my ex-classmates wouldn't mind. She didn't, though. Later, I found out she'd hurt her shoulder getting out of a motor boat and next thing I know she's badly injured and she's with her husband receiving a will from my uncle and aunt (lots of money) and something else valuable. They were trying to figure out how to get back safe.

I have a vague memory of walking past lots of little art fair stands, stopping at one with massive nail polish containers (the size of a regular Ajax bottle), lots of different scents, a few games and a thing I got to try out. It was basically a cone with some rope hanging out of it. Only you were supposed to pull, and pull, and pull to find that the rope at some point seemed to have been cut only to find, as you pulled some more, that it was never actually cut in the first place. Quite strange.

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